was it a mistake 

how big 

to think that it was the moon 

but it was a cookie 

my recipe includes

7 strawberries 

11 years 

3 porches 

and two fires 

I was topless and they took my sight 

they say we’ll need you to die before Thursday 

hope that works for you

we’ll need the room

don’t assume you’ll know who’ll make it to spring

adored or unseen 

wear your sunblock 

skip rocks 

risk your soul

we know nothing 

raspberries have everything in common with patience 

truth is bananas

the tension in matcha 

half a face came to me (avocado)

half my face in a hallway on a tiny child 

we’ve stained the streets 


the sky changed all day 

and the tree is still healing

I was cleaning my closet when you died 

or when you were thinking about dying 

I don’t really know 

but the earth cracked with your brilliance 

your children wear your love 

do you have yourself now

I hope so

take what you need 

all the letters will reach you 

somehow I have to believe 

on the dark and light filled journey 

of forced choices 

your memories in our memories 

inside the sky

seem something like forever 

I’ve got an appointment 

I think

to interview the sun

we’ll talk warmth 

and broken things 

and layers of light 

and I hope everything

because I want to 

ask about their wishes 

ask about the wind 

ask about the waves 

and what of heartbeats 

and halos

and rainbows 

I don’t want to be late 

the sun is generous and punctual 

glorious and reasonable 

stolen hummingbird 

pining for a sighting of the sun 

bright green glow

she reflects the yellow-white

she reflects the wind

she resembles the sand

we asked the world if it could stop

and to our surprise it did

as soon as she told her it wasn’t just this

or just that

she decided to change 

shifting gliding wiggling her brain 

whenever a black or white thought barged onto the scene 

she thinks she knows everything 

she says we all run wildly at the moon

my first heart has

my second heart will 

my third heart dreams 

but they didn’t believe me

It can’t end 

the moments we thought were promised 

when the last time quietly hides inside the calendar 

between laundry and appointments 

the day

will arrive 

with saddest hollow despair

of time spent 


now our conversations will continue

in my head and with the moon 

I’ll always be with you 

she blew a kiss to me 

and rode away

I was already crying and

she made me smile 

fragile raspberry I am

stuck in angry seeds

stuck in the past 

stuck here 

I was injured by innocent butterflies

they didn’t know what they were doing 

hell is when I’m not compassionate 

pain is when I’m not patient 

and the soft quick pieces of time when I love 

moonlight starlight sunshine heart shaped 

that person is here

I breathe 

chase clouds 

chase hurts 

chase now 

nothing is mine even if I feel like it is but

mine laughs at me 

mine runs away 

mine dies 

mine is with me 

mine is with you 

mine saved me from the barnacles

and the saltwater taste in my mouth 

I need to be up
I need to be brave for the impact
shoulders back
chest to the clouds
round the cream
bright the pink
arrive after dancing
show them everything
tears in her mask
shake like rainbows
warmth by the poolside with that feeling
like it’s the end of the movie
but the beginning for her
Rabbits up!
Word up!
with gentle kindness
and a tiger’s curiosity
that fills this water cup
She’s up


As we walk
with regards to your heart
with regards to the mess
I wait for white flowers in white vases
blob along little ocean
breathe down little shark
the patience this takes
the grief of this experience
the pain
the blood
the fear
With mask marks on their faces forever
Do you know who you are at 3am
If you’ll draw a map for me
I’ll make one for you
so we can find a way someday

I hear sirens
the sirens are coming for who
I think it’s me but I’m not bleeding
I think it’s me but the lights aren’t arriving
I wish it was me because I need taking
I wish it was me because I need receiving
I dreamt it was me for the attention
who is free from this need
who dissolves into beauty
who isn’t sour with unforgivable feelings

My red sweatshirt is filled with holes
it’s a soft wreck of clothing
a soft comfortable wreck
a soft
A saw a little girl with a birthday
in a war
a candle placed on top a stack of books
her Pretend cake
I saw her beam
I saw her wish
she looked cold
and her heart looked so big

I struggle to dance with all of these knives
but with ease I’ll try to marry you