eliot will be three years old on saturday june 9. it was a beautiful sunny tuesday morning when my massage therapist showed up at our santa monica apartment to help me through labor. andy took care of me, helping me shower and preparing food for me that i really thought i wanted but ended up barely touching. we walked up and down the block a few times, the three of us. it wasn't too long before i got a little worried and thought we should head to the hospital. we carried all of my gear and suitcases (bunches of stuff i didn't really need) a few blocks down to st. johns hospital. i was checked in, shown my room, and hooked up. i was told i couldn't go outside which made me a bit agitated. so i walked the halls a bit and i was so nervous and the day wore on and on. a lot of pain and many many hours later, eliot andrew was born the next day, wednesday at 1:50am. i pushed for about 1 1/2 hours. there really are no words. incredible love and pain and fear. i guess the only things i would change about my birthing experience would have been to stay home a bit longer and to include mine and andy's families.

eliot's been tapping on the laptop as i wrote this. sometimes looking at his face makes me want to weep with joy. what a gift to be his mommy!

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