my childhood dreams. that's the thought at the moment. when i say childhood i refer all the way up to about 20 years old. any sweet innocent thing you've let jump into your heart for a moment of whimsy or reality.

i once meditated on my wedding day. it was beautiful. i married andy and i put it in a cotton candy pink bubble and let it drift away as bubbles do.

i thought it'd be a big adventure to be a writer and travel this world. i pictured myself a cross between indiana jones and well, me.

i wanted to have crazy punk brightly colored hair and i've never had the guts to do it. i feel like i need to do it soon before i view myself as too old to wear it.

i wanted to have an art gallery where the walls were white and the floor was black and white checkered. i pictured my office being the loft above the store. it was well lit with high ceilings and clean and beautiful.

i daydreamed of being a mommy. i always saw this little person with me, probably about eliot's age, in dark denim overalls and me with him.

i wanted to work wherever they made hello kitty.

i still, to some extent, want everywhere i go to look and feel like disneyland.

i wanted to paint and draw and i wanted to show my art and have people buy it because it moved them deeply.

i wanted to help other people realize their own dreams by helping them by being a friend to financing.

i told everyone i knew in my 7th grade english class that i was going to win an oscar.

i thought it'd be amazing to open up an art center where people could pay a fee and explore everything from putting crayons to paper to the latest in computer technology.

i wanted to be really good at taking pictures of flowers.

i wanted to be close to my brothers.

i wanted my grandma to always like who i was. also andy's grandma, the same thing.

i wanted to dance and teach other people how to dance and choreograph shows.

i wanted to design clothes.

i want still to design my own house.

i wish i could play the piano, that too remains.

i wanted to be friends with tori amos.

i wanted to be olivia newton-john's daughter. we could roller skate together.

i wanted to live in california. another one i can check off the list.

i was always drawn to the east coast as well. maine, new york and florida in particular.

i wanted shaunna and i to be friends forever. so far so good.

i wanted animals to like me because i grew up so scared of them.

i wanted to swim with dolphins. that one i'll do one of these days.

i wanted tattoos. i've got one so far.

if you've read this far, thank you. just some little thoughts today of time passing as it does. some childish, some true and some attained.

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