B: smoothie: mixed greens, banana, mango and acai juice

s: one yummy date with a teeny scoop of raw pecan butter

L: pineapple and melon, garden of eden salad from blossoming lotus. small bowl of thai curry from andy's food from last night

D: blossoming lotus: live soup- thai red bell pepper and mango- amazing! 1/2 live collard wrap.

walked around nw portland, finally a lovely night.

when we got home i was still feeling snacky. so i had a little more soup and the cashew creme fruit parfait. all from blossoming lotus.

blossoming lotus really sucked tonight for service. i had my soup practically thrown at me after waiting for about 35 minutes and asking very kindly for it. never brought us water, asked how we were- nothing. there was more but that's enough.

i feel sad. i feel like i don't belong here. i don't feel accepted and i am not embracing life here. i'm trying to embrace it and i keep encountering a prickly reception. what else should i be doing?? i try to find a good vibe at a freaking vegan restaurant inside a yoga studio, an outdoor fitness class, blah blah blah. i feel like there is no box to put me in but everyone just needs to put me in a box anyway- the box they have chosen and i say, no!  i am too many things:

mom, wife, massage therapist, reiki practitioner, personal trainer, raw vegan, artist, tattooed woman, marathoner, ambitious, creative, book lover, music lover, art lover, earth lover, animal lover, petite, redhead, glasses wearing, contact wearing, insecure, quiet, loud, proud, competitive, crazy, lovable, adorable, klutzy, silly, tree hugging, shopper, runner, tiny feet, tiny hands, curled toes, meditating, dancing, hippie, snobby, jumping, beach loving, dreaming, movie lover, fairy, valentine, blogger, reader, architect and design nut, big sweet tooth, bad tv lover, sex and the city fan, traveling, i love to drive, i have terrible balance, don't like the desert, love dessert, love new york, love california, love the sky, love the sun, i love clothes and shoes and jackets and bags, love vegnews magazine, and dwell, i love tori and joni, cat and the beatles, rufus, and so many singer songwriters, concerts, vintage, pianos, acoustic guitars, wind, slapstick comedy, i love hearts and stars and eating and restaurants, and believing in people, and believing in love and knowing we don't know anything so we could and should just embrace it all and everyone cause we're all in this together- take a glance and feel it with your heart. grow up and in and out and take good care of yourself so you can pass the gift on to others. i can't believe you've read this far, thank you from the bottom of my endless and ever evolving heart. we're all so much more then what others "see".

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