This week was supposed to be all surfacey and fun here on the bloggy but I’ve been going through a very rough patch. My son, who is seven started going to school this week. He’s there- at school- all day long. Until 3 o’clock! Never in his life have we been away from each other for this long on a regular basis. I have spanking new grey hairs. I want to cry or throw up almost every second of the day. I see a mother with a baby strapped to her chest & I want to grab her so I can look her in the eyes & make her understand how fast time goes. My days with Eliot have always been my everything. Even today while I was out running errands to buy things for him- to make his days better I wanted to drive a certain route so we could go to the park but HE wasn’t WITH ME. We’ve never had a babysitter for him, he travels with us, he goes to restaurants with us, we go grocery shopping together… you get the idea. I miss him & I find it SO very difficult to be okay & have fun since I don’t know what he’s doing or how he’s feeling at any given moment because this is the first time in 8 years (he was born in June- do the math) that I haven’t been able to know. I love my son fiercely. He’s everything to me. He’s my heart. And so this is going to take some getting used to.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

~ Elizabeth Stone