Who will forgive you
When they get sick
Will you take your share
Who will you blame
If you find yourself alone
In the hospital
Kind professional strangers will whisper
their goodbyes to your life

You won’t be able to speak

Will you forgive yourself
Without your own last words
Without knowing how your ripples went
Where they fell
Who they killed
What will the last sounds you remember be
Will you overhear someone else’s end
Will you overhear hope
Will the never ending and frustrating sound of the ventilator fill your dreams
(You won’t know if you’re awake or asleep by then)
It’ll all be gone
The last things you’ll touch will be choking and un-soft bedsheets
The last thing you’ll feel is stubborn

and then empty because you couldn’t wrap your head around playing it safe
In your own home
Feeding yourself
Bathing yourself
Seeing a sunset again from your own window
For some reason you couldn’t do it
And people died
And maybe you will die from this
And no one will get to say farewell
or thank you
or I love you
You’re either stealing that chance for yourself
or someone else
And I can not bear it