Archives for posts with tag: grandma amelia

My mother in law is so very generous and has bought me some beautiful things from Hidden Treasures in Topanga Canyon, California. She brought me the dress below when she visited on Easter weekend. I costumed it up quite a bit on the first wear but I think I'll do something cleaner and more simple next time I wear it. It was really cold outside!

2010-04-09 20-20-29 - IMG_5642 by waxpancake.
Hidden Treasures dress
Rodarte for Target faux fur shrug
Urban Outfitters black thermal top
Jcrew blue fabric flower belt
Anthropologie floral necklace
Forever 21 black boots
My grandma Amelia's white gloves

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I usually write throughout the day but tonight I'm just settling in after seeing Tom Robbins speak in Portland. I've seen him in Seattle (more then twice I think), LaConner, Santa Monica and now Portland. This is the first time I haven't been able to talk with him. He read and spoke and answered questions. Andy arrived an hour early in order to score us front row center seats- he's a keeper. Tom was incredibly smart, funny and he reminded me of my Grandma Amelia who passed away a year and a half ago. Hear me out though, I'm serious. His brilliant candor, his one watering eye (just like me and Grandma), his kind wisdom that he delivers like a pro. I'm not sorry to say that he has qualities that make me smile like I do when I'm thinking of her. Enough said.

On to food. My plans were to juice feast a bit today but after yesterdays workout and really wanting to get in cardio today I abandoned the notion and ate well and exercised instead.

*Half a watermelon- a big one!
***treadmill run with sprint and jump rope intervals. High incline and sprints and jumping last five minutes. Handstand finish.
*Green smoothie- 32 ounces of farmer's market spinach, carob, bananas, cherries, tocos and lucuma. Cherries are great for sore muscles and yummy!
*A few Quite cheesy kale chips on the way to Eliot's class.
*Yummy Tummy Thai salad and half of a small avocado on toast.

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banana with cacao nibs and goji berries

8 mile run, some upper body resistance work, stretch

B: smoothie: water, msm, mesquite, cacao, loads of spinach, dates and a banana. i was feeling very decadent this morning so i indulged. it really doesn't fit it with my new stupid simple program- that's k.i.s.s., keep it simple stupid! hehe. today is judt going to be an indulgent day!

L: late lunch at the bye and bye vegan bar on alberta. great place.

D: wasn't too hungry after the bar so i ate 2 peaches

went to see my cousin chris in vancouver and pick up my grandma's chair. there was a drawing for this chair because so many people wanted it. i've sat in this chair, beside my grandma my whole life and bringing it home it suddenly hit me as i was driving and spotted it in my rear view mirror. i choked back a few tears as i drove with andy and eliot over the bridge back to oregon.

andy brought the chair in and while he and eliot were upstairs i picked it up and put it in it's new spot in the living room. i stared for a moment. for some reason my aunt also brought me a blanket that looks like it was made to match the chair. that's when the smell of my grandma's house filled me. i buried my nose into the back cushion of the chair and breathed deeply, the smell of church, memories, time and grandma mchatton's house. i started to cry and sat down in the chair, cross-legged just as i had the last afternoon i spent with her in her house.

it's hard to explain but i always knew it would be my chair one day, and i never wanted to think what it would mean when i did have this beautiful chair. everyone enjoyed, loved, sat, cried, laughed and had memories wrapped up in this flowery chair. it's a lovely and adored piece of history, with the fabric starting to snag and tear on the top. i feel to lucky to have it.

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wow, miss. L, you out did yourself! behold the photos from my grandma's house:

Little window front door, little peeking door

The Chairthe family chair, been in grandma's house forever for all i know and i've always loved it and wanted it so badly and yesterday my dear friend pulled my name out of a cake holder and i get to have it at my house. such a treasure.

chair legfamous chair leg

Gateside gate

birdhouse, backyard

swingset as garden post

flowers with heart

into the back yard


front of the house and "tfunny money"front door bricks

house numbers Funny Money

front door

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last night i had a dream i was with lots of family members at the beach and there were mountains all around. there were large, extremely high mounds of sand. i climbed them then i began flying in the wind. i raised one hand up and it was as if my small hand was a kite and my body was the string. i was flying but a little scared of the height and the relative speed i had gained quite quickly in the wind.

as dreams can do the next bit is blurry but i can clearly recall a second part. eliot had done or said something cute and funny and everyone laughed. but the laughter that was loudest was my grandma mchatton's. i couldn't see her but i could hear her and it made me burst into tears. no one else could hear her. i woke up knowing it was a strong simple and true message … just because we don't see her … and you know the rest.

tonight i got a phone call on my cell, it was my aunt and she left a message. she sounds a lot like her mother, my grandma. she started off the message with "oh hi ami, it's …" it was so spot on it choked me up for a second and whirled me right back to my dream again this evening and that's when i knew i had to write about it. grandma's here in so many ways: her soul and love still enjoying her family, her support and her guidance are all still there. and my beautiful aunt, what a blessing she is. i can't say enough good things about her, just like grandma.

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Which one of your ancestors would you most like to talk to? 
Submitted by Kathy.

well, after spending a wee bit of time at my grandma amelia's last night, (the first time in my entire life without her there) i 'd cherish the opportunity to ask her about her treasures. her gloves, her wedding dress, the napkin from her wedding which gently wrapped three small memories from that day. i'd ask her about the peculiar box i found in the basement that has the oddest visual etchings i've ever seen. the loads of skeleton keys, the furniture, the glasses, everything has a story. so if i could be selfish and have a day with her to myself we'd go through her stuff and i'd learn so much, i'm sure.

yesterday was my grandpa golden's funeral. my grandpa had a stroke and passed away as my grandma watched. after 62 1/2 years of marriage she said she watched the sparkle leave his eyes. his soul left this earth quickly and quietly as he sat in his favorite chair a week ago today. towards the end of the service while the priest was speaking i looked up to see my grandma embracing her husband's casket with her hands, with her head, with her heart. she was the only one standing. slowly she was joined by some of her 12 remaining children. it was so beautiful and so sad. we walked into the reception and she looked me straight in my eyes and said quietly, "i'm just going to miss him so much, i'm going to miss him so much." i hugged her tight and my mom came up and grandma said, "i wanted to hug him one more time."

my grandma golden's sister, my great aunt mary is 96 1/2, in a wheelchair, with a breathing tube, and she shakes while she talks. when i was growing up when you asked aunt mary how she was doing she'd always reply, "whoever i can and the good ones twice." Ha! who can get away with saying that? and she always has made everyone feel so beautiful and heard. she'd hold my cheeks in her soft old lady hands and she'd say, "you're so beautiful. you're so gorgeous." with such conviction that you'd be forced to believe it was true. what a gift she is. she looked around the reception yesterday and repeated, "you're all so vibrant, you're all so young." i squeezed her tight and told her she was beautiful when i first saw her at the church and i hope she believed me, i was hoping she heard me.

it was a tough day. i'm still reeling from it all. my grandfather was laid to rest at the same cemetery as my grandma amelia was back at the end of september. if you had told me i'd be back there so soon i'd have answered a defiant, no way. but there i was in the same black velvet coat, black boots, and tears forced to say goodbye by death.


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so i have a little time today while the movers load the truck full of our stuff. i've been reading a lot this morning. i came across this article about death and i want to share it.

 i've been thinking about death so much since my grandmother's passing in september. while meditating during my reiki classes last fall i had a very powerful message or thought, (depends on how you look at it). i had the intense, fun, knock you over kind of "thought", there is no such thing as death. there is more. there is a continuation i just know it. so when i read this article this morning i was inspired to share it. love to all, have a beautiful day.

Starting a New Year with Death

ps the link is not about the after death possibilities, it's about living fully now.

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december 23. today would have been my grandma amelia's 96th birthday. i didn't make a phone call today that i've made for years and years. it feels strange.

recently i had a dream that my grandma came to me and handed me three shiny pennies. i was so grateful but i woke up wondering what it could mean. when i told my mom about the dream she said when someone gives you a penny it means they're thinking about you. i took the three pennies to symbolize my brothers and me.

happy birthday grandma. thank you.

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What experience or moment in your life have you learned the most from? 
Submitted by AngieK

the last day and a half was spent in seattle attending my grandma amelia's rosary and funeral. so many thoughts went through my head i wish i had them all recorded so i could play them all back to myself and make some beautiful sense.

amelia was my dad's mom. a dear friend of amelia's said that my grandma never said a negative word about anyone and she asked us all, do you know anyone else you can say that about? and it's true. she was so positive, fun, adventurous and kind. kind beyond what you think is possible. patient and in the moment.

my dad's back causes him a lot of pain these days. coupling that with his grief he at times looked so overwhelmed and sad that i didn't know if he was going to fall over from the pain in his back or his heart. he beckoned for his five children to be near him. so we did. seeing my brother's cry, my dear cousins and second cousins weep. there were times when i'd look around and everyone's faces looked very old. their sadness and holding back tears aging their beautiful faces for the moment.

my aunt marianne, amelia's daughter, my dad's sister, she was amazing. i watched her body shake at times but she kept reaching out to comfort others, to squeeze tight. as she left the mausoleum marianne said, "goodbye mom" and "i'll see you later" as she waved to her large white coffin and went out the door.

my brother, todd and i watched as her coffin was set upon the risers that lift her up and up, about three men high to her resting place next to her husband, william mchatton. gone is the gentleness we witnessed at the rosary and at the church now it's time to put the box in to it's concrete hole. it's so strange but i've come this far and i'm going to keep my eyes on that white beautiful box until it's secured. the men push it in with force, i think it must be so heavy. next, they push in the square piece of concrete that needs to fit in so precisely that one of the man starts banging away. the quiet is gone and of course i'm crying and watching him pound and pound, unneeded concrete falls to the sacred floor. he finally gets it right and he proclaims "i did it!" and an "i'm sorry," the latter in our direction.

we walked outside to see a beautiful day full of fluffy clouds, sunshine, rolling green hills and a few dark gray clouds which burst at untimed intervals. i can relate to those clouds.

my brother, tony says throughout this experience, she's given us the blueprint on how to live. i know he's right. and he says the bar is set high.

on thursday night at the rosary i felt so sad and it was so difficult to see her wonderful pictures my cousin, amy had so lovingly spent time arranging. i didn't want to look at her photos or the open casket, i wanted so badly to see her and to touch her. how could we all be together like this? this day had come. like it will come for all of us. and i just wanted to hold on to the last time i saw her. how soft her cheeks had felt when i kissed her. how she told eliot how proud she was of him, and me and andy. and then as amelia's friend martina was going through the rosary i had another quick moment of clarity as i had about a week before. this time i felt grandma there. and she wasn't in that body, but instead she was with us, all around us, watching us, and a part of each of us. i knew at that moment i needed to keep coming back to this feeling to get through the grief and the unknown.

the heart wants what it wants and then there is death and oh how my heart wants to know what's next.

i don't feel like this post says enough or what i want to say exactly but i think i'll stop writing now. it's all so very big. our experiences, our lives, our love. our grandma always asked lots of questions and cared about what others had to say. may her life shine eternally in everyone who knew her and in the stories that will continue to be told.   

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