I've been having a bit of poop-out here in Portland. Eliot's birthday is fast approaching, the weather is not acing like late spring/early summer and it's bumming me out. So, all I've been wanting is comfort food and sweets. Luckily, I love to run and exercise and lift weights. But, I still don't feel as great as I'd like to.

I want and need to do some work on myself. I give myself little reiki treatments often as I fall asleep at night. I also repeat positive mantras as I run which are very useful that I started to do it at night too. The first one I tried seemed to stick in my throat and make my stomach leap with baby frogs so I knew it was the right one. I could barely choke out: "I am a beautiful woman."

Damn that Barbie. I stopped growing when I was about eleven. Tiny feet and all. I shaped up like a woman just fine, just not exactly- "up". At just under five feet tall, this is just not how I pictured a "beautiful woman" looking. I wanted Barbie legs, Wonder Woman strength, and Charlie's Angels beauty. So, here I am, a grown woman, still waiting to "look" like a "beautiful woman". I'm working on it ~ not growing longer legs, but knowing I am lovely, beautiful even, just as I am.

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